2003-12-20 at 10:07 p.m.
I realised today, that I do only need you. Need you smiling at me the way you do. I really enjoyed tonight, I did. I don't think it was real. It all happened so quick, everything.
I have the oppurtunity to move on now, to in a way, start a-fresh, especially since many new bonds have been made, making it easier for ours to break. You don't care. You don't need me anymore, you've realised it, as have I, and gradually, every day, I need you less.
I wish it weren't that way, and that many things could be different today. Would you have been happy for me if it were all different, if it were all in favour of me? I highly doubt it. Is that why you dont care that we aren't as close, why we aren't talking, because you would have done the same thing.
I can't think about much at the moment, I'm so tired. I wish it were all normal, that everyone was still as close, everyone still friends, no more, no less. Or maybe i wish I hadn't done anything about it. Probably because you didnt do the same in return.
Maybe it's not me that is heartless and selfish, but you. It's a possibility. I wish it were true.
I feel bad...but I shouldn't, because you are horrible to me. And my feelings are true and pure. Sorry.
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