2004-01-01 at 2:07 p.m.
It's here.
I've been edging and edging towards excitement for this day for so long. But why?
It is all different now, and I know it is completely cliche to say that I felt it. I woke up this morning and I felt different. Like alot had been lifted off my chest.
Everything before is gone. This is the first entry of this year and now of my visible contemplations. From now on, I really will treat people how they treat me, that's not badly, just not there. I can only be there for people if they are there for me.
I'm on a pilgrimage...kinda.
Most people will think "what a prat, changing the person he is" but I'm not. I'm becoming the person I am meant to be. It feels right. It really does.
No more me running around after people, ringing people, arranging things. I tried that before but was scared at the fact that I thought if I didn't then I would never see people, or be invited out. But now, I don't care.
I only want to be involved with the people that want to be involved with me. Those that talk to me, I will talk to them. That sort of thing.
I wish I had written this last night, so that it would have been read and now deleted, cos it's not the best way to start everything, but still.
One day I believe I will hear the words "I love you, and to me you are perfect". One day. And I believe that won't have to do all the work for that to happen.
I believe everyone has a soulmate. You don't necessarily have to be in love with that soulmate. I'm not. But it's hard luck when that soulmate doesn't feel the same. Like love. That's when you have to give up. Start new. Hoping that there is a soulmate for that new you.
This will be deleted by the end of the day, and a new entry to start the new year in it's place. I don't know how that will go yet. Just like everything else.
Everyone has their own lives. I'm going to have mine.
Who am I?
Maybe not spiderman, or anyone special. But I am someone. Help me find that. Before it is too late.
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