2004-01-04 at 9:14 p.m.
I know I have vision and talent, I just don't give a damn
You can only live the life you are meant to live. It's annoying to think that maybe we don't have control over what happens. That it all happens because it is meant to. That things can't go any other way. Meaning that in no other life could you still be there. Coming to terms with that is the hardest thing ever. Knowing that no matter what you are gone.
And I realise it now...
That maybe if what happened earlier in my life didn't happen, that we didn't feel the need to move on, to get away, to escape from memories, then I wouldn't be here today, then I wouldn't be going to the same school, meaning I wouldn't know the same people. So maybe that was meant to happen. I'm not saying I am happier the way it has turned out, because obviously I'd rather you back, but at the same time, being here is ok.
I miss the excitement. The not being able to sleep the night before Christmas or my birthday. Being a kid. It's kinda all going, and more rapidly now than ever.
It's scary to think how much would have changed by this time next year. I mean there are obvious things such as moving from school to college, working, maybe driving - but then there are the less obvious things that we cannot predict, such as who we will know still this time next year, GCSE results, new people that may enter our lives, the events of what happens in between - they are the scary things.
I don't wanna talk, I don't wanna rock, I don't wanna wait by the phone And, I don't wanna tell you I love you, anymore
I really need to fall asleep in someones arms ! Take someone to see the fire, to lay in front of it. Anyone. I don't want to be in love yet. I don't want that fuss. Do I?
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Hello?
Change is good, but it's hard to handle. It's the one thing that makes you believe you are alone. Nothing is stable, not at the moment, making us deep in thought.
I feel stupid and contagious
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