2004-02-24 at 11:08 p.m.
I seem to have more people than usual around me at the moment, talking to me, and yet I feel the most loneliest I have in a long time. Most people will probably take that offensively, and I wish it weren't so, just when so many people are around I find it hard to interact and end up just being there in body. When I have so many people to see all in one day, so many things to be said, so many lives being interwoven, i find it immensely hard not to shut my mind off, humming in my head, even singing, when someone talks to me.
There is also the case that it's hard to stay close to people whilst school is going on, because other people become apart of your lives again, things change that was before, its hard to adjust to yours and mine ever-changing personalities from "holiday people" to "school people" again.
I still feel a threat to myself, as if I will be the one to destroy me. I feel pschizophrenic because of the different ways I treat people, the ways I act, the ways I behave, the ways I change.
I feel like I am stil being denied.
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