2004-07-08 at 12:32 a.m.
I don't want to be in control of me anymore. I'm letting all go, prevents the pain; the hurt.
I feel me plummeting more and more inside of me every day, leaving only a trace of me as a memory, revealing something that doesn't belong. A selfishness overwhelming to any other emotion, like the repetitive bastard that I am. The unrelevance of any of this consumes me, over-rides me, takes me on a ride.
Although I'm already dead, many times, I feel me slowly dying once again. Drifting around as if like a tangable spirit, calling back to me, me plummeting. Laughing. Laughing at my inability to keep things smooth, to love, to hate, to keep friendships sweet, to pass exams, and most of all my inability to write.
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