2004-03-04 at 10:09 p.m.
I need to go and drink lots of strong black coffee, I need to stay awake for a long time, due to lack of sociology coursework.
I think I may regret being as open as what I was in that email thing, I wasn't thinking, I just rushed it putting the first thing that popped into my head.
I am confused too right now, and have been for the past couple of weeks. What does that all mean? I need to know.
I'm glad you feel the way you do about that, it's nice to know it touched you in the way you touched my heart, corny as it may sound. Corny as I may be.
I managed to get myself involved in a trampolining competition now. What the hell was I thinking?
Why won't you talk to me? Do you hate me that much now? I wish I at least knew what I did wrong so that it didnt hurt as much. Why am I doing this?
I can't do this right now, I can't write an entry without the fear of revealing too much, which is wrong, I never used to be scared of this diary. And i was also quite insulted to be called wrong by Libby. I am not wrong ! And you are special. I miss you so much.
I'm going to have a bath now.
Back.
I am searching for that day when I will be able to get along with everyone all at the same time, along with not having too much on my mind, and not stressing and worryng over school. But, I have decided I am going to die by the time I am twenty-five. Just enough time for me to have a degree and maybe fall in love. Maybe. And maybe enough time for me to not be so skinny, and spotty, and ill.
As I've said before, I want to rush you into the cupboard, stare deep into your eyes, (which I can't do, I don't like eye contact) and lean in and see if there is anything there. Is that wrong?
I wish you had fought that day too.
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